Idiot University...College Athletes and Coaches Run a Muck

Thousands of student-athletes attend colleges, do their school work, excel in athletics, and graduate. The majority of these student-athletes don't run a foul of the law or make stupid decisions.

However, this article is going to focus on the all too many college athletes who break the law while in school or make silly, stupid decisions which negatively effect themselves, their teammates, and the institution they represent. I have a special college that these athletes can enroll in. It's called Idiot University.

Idiot University has a graduate school for those who have their undergraduate degree, but have continued their unlawful and senseless escapades. Idiot University is also open to those who have yet to earn their Bachelor's Degree. These student-athletes have lost sight of what a privilege it is to play college sports. By the way, Idiot University is not just limited to players. Coaches are also eligible and a few have gotten their Bachelors, Masters, and some are working on their Doctorate degrees. Here is a list of candidates who have qualified for enrollment into IU:

Odell Thurman, Cincinnati Bengals, University of Georgia

Odell Thurman was a Defensive End at UGA. He was a Second Round draft choice by the Bengals in 2005. During his rookie season, Thurman led the Bengals with 148 tackles, four forced fumbles and five interceptions. However, Thurman was suspended by the NFL in 2006 for violating the League's Substance Abuse Policy. Then on Sept. 25 of 2006, Thurmond was arrested for DUI and the NFL extended the suspension for the rest of the year.

The Bengals should have seen this coming. While at UGA, Thurmond was arrested 4 times. He has been clearly doing what he is suppose to do at Idiot University and has already completed his doctoral work in Repetitive Criminology.

Jr. WR Bruce Figgins, UGA

Another more recent student-athlete at IU is also another UGA player. Junior Wide Receiver Bruce Figgins was suspended for 6 games of the 2009 season . Reports are that he failed a drug test. The severity of the suspension tels me that he is a repeat offender. He is well on his way to earning his Masters in Moronic Pharmacology from IU.

Head Football Coach Lane Kiffin, Tennessee

Though Kiffin has not committed any legal infractions, he has certain violated the laws of tactfulness, truth and self-control. As I mentioned in my previous blog on Lane Kiffin, He has made false accusations against another coach in the SEC, verbally slammed another university in the attempt to recruit a player, and embarrassed Tennessee by puling a silly stunt involving one of his assistants and a recruit. Right now, Kiffin is a Freshman at Idiot University. His lack of people skills, tactfulness, and fact finding have him well on his way to earning a Bachelor's Degree from IU.

Former Head Basketball Coach Dana Kirk, Memphis

Many of you reading this blog won't remember this name. Some of you weren't even born. Back in 1985, Memphis made it to the Final Four in Lexington, KY, where they lost to the eventual NCAA Champion Villanova. the school was called Memphis St. back then. Unfortunately for the Tigers, the trouble didn't stop with the loss to the Wildcats. Memphis St. was put on probation the following year by the NCAA due to violations committed by Head Coach Dana Kirk and others. Kirk was fired and later served four months in prison for tax evasion. The Accounting Department at Idiot University is second to none in teaching its pupils the values of skirting around the tax laws, as well as the art of stealth fully bending the rules of recruiting in college sports. Kirk is well on his way to being certified as a "Par-illegal" at IU.

Former Head Basketball Coach Dave Bliss, Baylor

We have a strong candidate for Invalid Victorian at Idiot University. He's former Men's Head Basketball Coach Dave Bliss. Back in 2003, Bliss was caught on tape instructing some of his players to tell investigators that Baylor Center Patrick Dennehy, who was murdered by teammate Carlton Dotson, had paid for his tuition by dealing drugs. It was found out that Coach bliss had paid a total of $7,000.00 for a portion of Dennehy's tuition not covered by financial aid. He also did the same thing for another player, Corey Herring. Bliss admitted to making the payments, a violation of NCAA rules. Bliss was forced to resign by Baylor President Robert Sloan. The scandal nearly destroyed the Baylor Men's Basketball Program and it took five years for the Bears to get back to respectability, as they made it to the 2008 NCAA Tournament.

There were allegations that some of Bliss's players were using marijuana and alcohol and that Bliss ignored it. Also recruiting violations and lying to investigators make Bliss a strong candidate for Invalid Victorian at Idiot University.

There are many more student-athletes and coaches who have enrolled in Idiot University by virtue of their disregard of the law, ignorance of the policies of their respective universities and athletic conferences, and unacceptable behavior. Former Oklahoma and Indiana Basketbal Coach Kelvin Sampson, several student-athletes involved in a huge cheating scandal at Florida St., and former Tennessee Punter Dustin Colquit are all doing well at Idiot University. These student-athletes have their Doctorates, Masters, and Bachelor's Degrees. Congratulations! For what?